Ranjan Patel

Everybody requires an approach that fits with who they are, their history, needs, and goals. This is the larger context that therapists consider when deciding on the treatment. The best therapy is collaborative (not prescriptive), e.g. your therapist consults with you, the client, and advise you about what to expect and what you think and feel about using an approach or technique. Four examples below:
1. For a phobia, research has shown that systematic exposure and desensitization, coupled with cognitive therapy, is best.
2. For panic attacks, a combination of a mindfulness approach coupled with breathing exercises and cognitive/behavioral work may provide a more rapid solution.
3. If you’ve been experiencing life-long problematic patterns of feeling/thinking, manifesting in many contexts, et.g. work, relationships, etc. a psychodynamic approach with a relational and developmental framework might be a sound platform. Upon this, you and your therapist may build more behavioral work.
4. If you’re in couples therapy, the therapist will want to assess for your specific dynamics of relating with your partner, and offer communication skills, and more emotionally vulnerable ways of interacting. Your therapist may also feed back to you his/her observations of your attachment patterns and give homework exercises to practice outside of sessions.
In sum, psychotherapy is not based on the medical model, where one type of antibiotic lends itself to a class of infection. Rather, therapy requires your you and your therapist to look closely at the entirety of who you are: your history, your temperament, your needs and goals … as you begin working, your situation evolves, which requires your therapist to adapt to your growth. If your therapy is going well, you are transforming--and the ‘treatments’ are evolving with you.

While it’s normal to want to “get over” the pain as quickly as possible, the best way for you to heal is gradually. Please give yourself time. You had a relationship with your father spanning more than three decades, and it’s too much to ask of yourself to bounce back in thirty days. It’s okay and good and healthy to take your time. Acknowledge your loss and let yourself feel your pain, hurt, sadness. As you do this, also open yourself up to remembering good memories you had with him, the qualities you loved about him … let the light and sunshine of your father into your soul. Open your arms to the full spectrum of emotions about your dad and about the two of you together. Anticipate that every day will be different, e.g. some days will be relatively quiet where you go through your day feeling okay, other days may be much harder, where you’re overwhelmed with the unbearable permanence of your loss and that you’ll never see or talk to your dad again. Other days you may float through feeling numb. And some days you might go in and out of many different feelings. Just when you think you’ve settled into a new normal, a tide of grief may wash over you. All of this is completely normal—grieving the death of your parent is in many ways a lifelong process, and one which will change quality over time. Be patient with yourself and do not succumb to the message so ubiquitous in our culture, namely that we have to move quickly; please do not put pressure on yourself to “get over it” quickly. Trust yourself that you will heal in your own time on your own terms. Identify things you can do to act in meaningful ways, e.g. do whatever fills your heart, e.g. play with your child, hang out with a buddy, spend time with your partner, volunteer, play sports, anything to engage on a deeper level with yourself and with others. Be sure to allow yourself to feel little pockets of joy, take comfort in your positive memories—and also find solace in the good things in your present life—your relationships and connections, your work, your charity. Cultivate kindness—to yourself, and to others. If you find yourself having a hard time functioning, difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, self medicating with alcohol and/or drugs, acting out your grief with anger, if you feel you want to hurt yourself, etc. please seek professional help either by reaching out to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or your internist, who can refer you to a trusted mental health practitioner.

We currently have more than one classification for “Bipolar Disorder,” e.g. ‘I’ and ‘II,’ each varies in severity. Regardless of the type, we do not have a cure for the disease, but the symptoms can be managed effectively with both medications and psychotherapy. The latter teaches coping strategies for recognizing when you’re about to go into a spiral of depression, mania, or hypomania. Therapy also helps you to practice skills, e.g. ask for help from your support system, regulate maladaptive cognitions and behaviors, etc. Seeing a psychiatrist is also essential: some trial and error may be involved while searching for a medication and dosage that works for you; sometimes a combination of meds works best--the optimal strategy for treating bipolar disorder is a combination of psychotherapy and medication. The first step is to acknowledge you cannot do it alone and need support from a medical team, as well as friends and family. Though it may feel overwhelming to enlist multiple mental health specialists, you can start with your internist or gp, who can refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist, whom in turn, can refer you to the appropriate doctor. This is not a journey you need undertake alone; you’ll slowly build a medical team who will guide and support you.

From your specifying "paracetamol," I'm assuming you are outside of the U.S. You are right to be worried about your daughter, and the best doctor to take her for a consultation is your primary family doctor, internist, or GP. The doctor will assess for whether your daughter is using it for pain relief and the other options for treatment. It is likely there's a psychological component to your daughter's situation, but her family doctor should first assess for what she's going through physically, and if warranted, your doctor may refer her to a psychologist. If your doctor does not refer her to one, please initiate an appointment with a psychologist for your daughter. It's best to approach this issue from both physical and emotional angles.

I wish you and your daughter the best.

From your specifying “paracetamol,” I’m assuming you are outside of the U.S. You are right to be worried about your daughter, and the best doctor to take her for a consultation is your primary family doctor, internist, or GP. The doctor will assess for whether your daughter is using it for pain relief and the other options for treatment. It is likely there’s a psychological component to your daughter’s situation, but her family doctor should first assess for what she’s going through physically, and if warranted, your doctor may refer her to a psychologist. If your doctor does not refer her to one, please initiate an appointment with a psychologist for your daughter. It’s best to approach this issue from both physical and emotional angles. I wish you and your daughter the best.