Why Most People End Up Failing In Their Life - The Reality That Exists Even For Those With "Success"
Cody Dakota Wooten, C.B.C. is the Chief Regenerative Design Officer and Founder of The Leadership Guide, Change The World Fitness Apparel, and he is the Category Creator of the Multi-Award-Winning Categories: Sageship Cultivation Legendary Leadership As a Sageship Coach, Daily Digital Writer (800+ Day & Article Streak),... more
Most People Fail in their Lives.
That is the Truth.
The Number One Thing that People Say On Their Deathbed Is...
I Wish I Had...
They End Up Dying Regretting and Missing Things in Their Lives.
This Happens to People Across Levels of "Success" As Well.
Even People Who Are Hailed as "Successful" Usually End Up Saying This On Their Deathbed.
For Everything They Had Supposedly "Accomplished"...
They Still Die...
Knowing They Missed True Success...
Knowing Deep Down and Regardless of What Others Say...
They Have Failed
But Why Is This?
How Does This Happen So Frequently?
The Reason...
Which is Going to "Sound" Controversial, but Allow Me to Explain...
Is Because They Did Not Put Their "Entire" Selves Into Their Actions.
Now, before You Attempt to Rain Terror Down Upon Me for Saying This, Let Me Say...
This Does Not Mean that Most People Do Not Put Amazing Efforts Into their Work and Lives.
That is Not what I'm Saying at All.
But...
The Problem is that, specifically, They Have Not Put Their "Entire" Selves.
Which, sadly, is likely Not Their Fault.
There is an Old Saying...
You Do Not Know What You Do Not Know.
The Challenge is that the Vast Majority of People Do Not Know What Their "Entire" Selves Even Mean.
See, the Regrets that Come to Haunt Us Occur because We Miss Certain Aspects Of the "Entirety" of Ourselves.
We are "Living" and "Pushing" and "Driving" Toward some Version of "Success"...
But Ultimately Our Efforts Become Wasted, Derailed, and Twisted Toward Something "Less Than".
It Happens for So Many Reasons.
But the Question Becomes...
What Goes Into Putting Our "Entire" Selves Into Something?
It Begins with Our Identity.
Most People Hold Onto Certain Identities "Very" Strongly...
Yet...
The Identities that Most People Hold are Either Superficial or Transitory in Nature.
Some of those Identities are Enforced On Us by Our Environments, which We Accept.
Others are Chosen for Various Reasons...
And Some of those Reasons are Good Reasons to Hold Those Identities.
A Classic Example Here is a "Good Spouse", "Good Father", or "Good Mother".
All of these are Positive Identities, which I would Encourage People to Have...
But they are All Transitory as Well.
What they Mean Changes by the Circumstances that We Find Ourselves, Some of Which We Have No Control Over...
And Even for These Identities, When they Suddenly and Unexpected Change on People...
Which I See Happen All The Time...
People are Left Struggling to "Know" Who They Are Anymore...
I See this With Divorcees...
Parents Who Become Empty Nesters...
Parents Who Lose Their Children...
Individuals Who Lose Their Spouses...
When You Focus on a Transitory or Superficial Identity...
You Miss Accessing Your Core Identity.
Most People Do Not Know Their Core Identity Consciously...
It Can Take "Years" to Completely Understand.
But Subconsciously...
We Know the Truth...
Which is a Part of Why So Many People Look Back with Regret on their Deathbeds.
Then, when We are Stuck on the Identities that are Superficial or Transitory...
We Come Into Another Struggle...
Shadow Identities.
These Often Drive a Significant Amount of Our Behaviors...
But Because We have Mistaken a Superficial or Transitory Identity (Or Set Of Them) as Our "Entire" Identity...
The Shadow Identities Usually Operate Subconsciously.
Think About What it Means to be a "Good Parent" or "Good Citizen"...
What are All the Things that You Fear, which would Turn You Into a "Bad" Version of That?
All of those Things Usually Subtlely Impact Us in Ways We Do Not Expect...
Usually in Ways that Prevent Us from Acting in Ways that Might Have Benefited Us...
Which Ends in Regret Later in Life.
But it Goes Further than this...
Most People Struggle to Put their Entire "Selves" Into Anything.
This is what I would Call a Wayset.
Again, don't get me Wrong...
People Often Put a "Lot" Into Things...
But there are some Incredibly Common Factors Where People Struggle.
One is Diffusion of Effort.
They Attempt to Do Too Many Things, Without Enough Energy (Mg-ATP) or Help...
But when it Comes to the End of the Day...
They Do None of them Effectively.
There are Many Half-Efforts that Never Seem to Find a Tipping Point Toward Success...
Or Parts of their Lives that they Forget or Ignore when the Focus Too Much On Another Part of Life...
Until it is Too Late...
Much like the Song, "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin.
Then there is the Issue of How You Pursue Success...
When we Look at Psychophysiology, there is Only One State of Being Where We Attain Our Best "And" Feel Our Best...
Flow States.
But the Problem is that So Many People Push So Hard...
That They Block Themselves from Flow States...
And Instead Push Themselves into Dis-Stress.
If this Happens for Long Enough, it can become Chronic Dis-Stress, and then Burnout...
Which in Today's World is Where Over 80% of People are Currently In.
The Problem with Burnout Especially, but All Forms of Chronic Dis-Stress...
Is that We "Both" Fail at Being Present and Enjoying Our Lives...
While Simultaneously Failing to Reach Our Productivity Potential...
Meaning We Accomplish Significantly Less than We Subconsciously Know is Possible.
How Ineffective are We in Burnout?
We become Trapped at 5% of Our Productivity Potential when in Burnout, according to the Research on Burnout and Peak Performance.
If for the Majority of Your Life You Only Operated at 5% of What is Possible...
Of Course, You Will Be On Your Deathbed with Regrets.
You have Missed 95% Of What Is Possible in Your Life.
Which is Sadly what Happens to Most.
That Potential...
Gone.
Only Seen On Their Deathbed.
The Look Back...
And See All The Things that Wasted Their Time...
Things that Meant Nothing...
The Struggles that Now Seem Insignificant...
And Wonder...
What Would Have Happened...
If They Overcame Those?
But Sadly, on Your Deathbed, there is No Time to Find Out.
The Final Grains of Sand are about to Fall in the Hourglass...
Signifying the End.
This is How Most People Die.
They Know They Have Failed...
Perhaps they Vehemently Denied It Earlier in Life...
Perhaps Others Told Them that their "Successes" Were Worthy...
But Most Individuals Lie On Their Deathbed Knowing...
They Have Failed.
They May Not Even Know "Why" They Feel They Failed...
Which Makes It All The Sadder...
But there is Hope.
If You Are Not Dead...
Which I'm Assuming if You're Reading This...
Then You "Can" Still Act Today.
Discover Your Identity...
Move Beyond the Transitory and Superficial...
Understand the Shadows and Why They Exist...
Then Lock into the Core Beyond All of These...
Then Design Your Wayset...
Access Flow States Consistently...
Align Your Actions with Who You Are and Want to Be...
The Past is Gone...
But Today is Here...
And We Can Overcome All of the Past if We Begin Moving Forward Now.
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