What Being a Mom to an Autistic Child is Really Like

What is it like being an autism mom? The ups, the downs, and the emotional struggle.

It is like swimming in the ocean. You learn the ebb and flow of tides and waves. You learn to enjoy the sunshine on your face. You find joy in the seashells and dolphins, you know the things most people take for granted. Then BAM! A rip tide! You are tossed and turned every which way, you feel like you are drowning and you fight with all your might to get through it. Then you return to gentle waves flowing. Catch your breath. Prepare for the next round. Repeat. ad infinite item.

What fears do you face as you raise your child?

The biggest fear is what would happen to my child if something were to happen to me! As advocate extraordinaire, the thought of my son being left without me is TERRIFYING!

Next up, that my son may not ever be able to be independent. This is a fear i refuse to feed or acknowledge. I believe limits are only the ones we set on him. I may be in denial (that's where the fear is)- denial that my son may never be able to function at an independent level. I refuse to believe that! I will only focus on encouraging him to succeed and what he CAN do.

What do you wish other moms knew about what you go through?

I always hear,"I don't know how you do it? I don't think I could do it?" YES Momma you could and WOULD if this is the life you were given. It isn't a choice to have a child with special needs. It is a choice to advocate, challenge, provide, and raise my child. MOST parents choose this too. Mine just looks different.  That and yes I do have PTSD from navigating autism in my life.  Oh, and every time someone sees my child struggling and looks at us with judgement, know you are hurting more than helping. Get educated and offer to help.

Do you have other autism mommies who have inspired you?

Online, there are moms who share a lot about their stories. Their transparency is beautiful and helpful. Day to day, the other moms I know with kids with autism are generally 1. Not wanting to talk about it because it is like an open wound and their coping skills are to just move on regardless, 2. So totally consumed with the schedules of therapies and structure, there is not a lot of time and energy for friends, 3. Doubt themselves and feel like they are so empty they have nothing to give to inspire others. I am inspired by many moms of children with varying challenges and needs. My friend whose son has CP, she is a warrior, my friend whose son's epilepsy was so severe he committed suicide and she in turn took her tragedy and created an online support group to help others: INSPIRATION! People who can say yes this is NOT the life I planned but I will seek joy in the little successes and accept my child's achievements are much more rudimentary than most (ie. most brag on honor roll and MVP in sports vs. Me bragging on showered 3 times this week and went to class at school without any escalation.) I am inspired by those who play the cards they were dealt, finding ways to share their joy and pain with others to help others find their joy through it all.